​​May is Mental Health Awareness Month and it's time to talk about confronting the stigma around therapy.  Many people would benefit from therapy but won't choose it because they feel ashamed and weak when confronted with emotional difficulties.  There is no shame in seeking professional help for emotional difficulties anymore than there is to visit a medical doctor for your physical health.
Physical and Mental Health are entwined.  Ignoring either can lead to greater difficulties.  Early intervention is the key to dealing with both physical and mental problems.
Men are particularly at risk from not talking about emotional issues.  Men can perceive themselves as weak and inferior for feeling anxious, depressed, angry, overwhelmed and other uncomfortable emotions.  Stuffing feelings down or ignoring them can be dangerous to functioning in relationships, can interfere with concentration at work, contribute to fatigue, irritability.
Here are some excerpts from an article by Sean Evans, "Not Talking About Mental Health is Literally Killing Men",  May 2, 2018.
"Your mental health is inseparable from your physical health. Not a revolutionary concept, but what is astounding is the stigmatization that still surrounds men who dare to talk about their emotional struggles.
Men who are vocal about any kind of mental issues can be dismissed as weak.  As inferior.  As flawed, broken guys who are more likely to be ostracized for their honesty, instead of rewarded for their bravery.  Instead of affording a fellow man compassion, we mock, belittle, and turn a blind eye. We freely spit the phrase, 'Man up', as though your gender alone should suffice to guide you through your darkest times.
Or worse the response can be 'Well, that sucks', then change the subject because talking about feelings is just too real.
What’s real is the fact that 9 percent of men experience depression.  That’s more than 6 million men.  More than 3 million men struggle with anxiety, daily.  Of the 3.5 million people diagnosed as schizophrenic by the age of 30, more than 90 percent are men.  An estimated 10 million men in the U.S. will suffer from an eating disorder in their lifetime.  One in five men will develop and alcohol dependency over a lifetime.  Male suicide is rising at such an alarming rate that it’s been classified as a 'silent epidemic.'  It’s the seventh leading cause of death for males.  That’s a staggering statistic. 
It’s okay to feel depressed.  It’s okay to feel overwhelmed.  It’s okay to be sad.  It’s okay to be anxious. It’s okay to be scared. It’s okay to not have everything figured out, to feel a wave of uncertainty come crashing over you and not know which way is up, or when your next gulp of air will come. These are perfectly normal feelings that every man experiences.  And it’s okay to talk about it.  What’s not okay is suffering in silence."  You can read the full article here.
Freud called therapy the Talking Cure.  It's time to talk!
Here are some misconceptions about therapy which may block someone from seeking help.

Stop, Look, Listen, Smell, Taste, Touch.
What you know of the world comes through the 5 senses.  Paying attention to your sensory input can focus the mind on the present.  Living in the present can, momentarily, lower anxiety, relieve muscle tension and calm the mind.  
Here's a quick exercise, The Senses Check, which takes about a minute to bring you into a tranquil space.

• ​Stand and take a few deep breaths.
• Slowly rotate in place as you take in the visual information around you.  Name everything you see.
• Come back to place and close your eyes and attend to the sounds in your environment.  Name the sounds.  Locate them in your mind's eye.
• Switch your awareness to smell and identify any odors.
• Now, lick your lips to taste whatever is there.
• Next, switch your attention to touch.  How do your clothes feel on your body?  How do they feel when you touch each component; soft/hard, warm/cold, rough/smooth.  How does your body feel?  Notice any kinks, sore spots, muscle tension.
• Inhale deeply and as you exhale release any physical stress.
• Smile!

This one-minute exercise connects you to the immediate environment through your 5 senses.  If you practice often you can lower your stress baseline, clear a cluttered mind, relax the body, even change your viewpoint.​
Do The Senses Check and experience the present moment completely.
Even one episode of mindful practice can be beneficial for your health. 
There's beauty at your feet.  A mindful walk can be replenishing. 

Our mental, emotional and physical health are all challenged during these uncertain times.  Our confinement due to the Corona Virus and threat of Covid-19 has forced us to change our patterns.  This has taken a toll.  There are things we can do to feel better.  Now is the time to create new habits to support our good health and well-being.
This article from The New York Times describes the risks and remedies for our labile emotional state  and the opportunity we have for a healthier life going forward.

​Good Mental Health is no different than good physical health.  In fact, good mental health contributes to better physical health.
​Seeing a physician isn't embarrassing if we have the flu, a high fever, or other serious health problems.  No one will criticize you for seeking medical help for a physical health problem and, indeed, most people would fault you if you didn't seek medical help.
Yet we often find that mental health issues bring a very different reaction.  People sometimes see mental illness not as a health issue, but as a character flaw, a serious defect, something that marks a person as weak, unstable, perhaps even violent or dangerous.
Such reactions have serious consequences for millions of Americans who could be healthier and happier if they were receiving the mental health help readily available.  But many don't seek such help out of fear of being "labeled" with a mental illness, feeling family and friends won't understand, or that it could lead to discrimination at work or school.
Too many people who could use help instead see their condition as a sign of personal weakness. They may mistakenly believe that they should be able to control whatever is wrong without outside help.
Please, work to correct this misinformation and encourage people to seek needed treatment.  For example, researchers estimate that one in eight U.S. adolescents is suffering from depression.  Each day an estimated 3,000 young people in grades 9 to 12 attempt suicide, yet only 30% of young people facing mental health issues ever receive any type of treatment or intervention. This lack of treatment helps lead to more than 4,600 suicides by young people each year. The statistics are even scarier among senior citizens and our military veterans.
What you can do:

• Speak up.  Tell people if you have had treatment and how valuable it was just as you would share that an MD treated you for blood pressure, cholesterol, digestive problems, heart conditions, etc.
• Ask your schools to teach a module on emotional intelligence at all grade levels each year.  This could empower students to be assertive, learn empathy, and decrease incidents of bullying.
• If you see a relative or friend in distress don't shy away, instead, suggest psychotherapy as an option and share your own experiences.
• Do some research and study in improving communication, parenting techniques, conflict resolution and bring these skills into your family and work situations.
• Consider scheduling a weekly Family Meeting where all members can feel safe to discuss issues and generate solutions to influence family dynamics toward more cohesion, trust and contentment.  Even infants and toddlers attend!

It's vital for people to recognize that mental health issues are not a reason for shame, but rather a condition that requires treatment by a professional. Anxiety, depression, panic attacks, eating disorders, social phobias and similar problems are not a sign of personal weakness.  They are simply conditions that, when treated successfully, can result in a happier, healthier and more productive life.
If you or someone you know is suffering from a mental health issue, don't give in to the stigma, but rather take action for better health.  Talk to a friend or family members about what's bothering you and look into assistance from a mental health professional.  Seeking mental health help is not a weakness; it's as logical and right as seeing a doctor for the flu.
Adapted from American Counseling Association’s Counseling Corner Blog.
​Here are some thoughts from Markus Howard on The Marquette basketball team about his mental health treatment as published in The NYTimes.

During a busy schedule you can find yourself transitioning from one task, activity, or group to another without taking a breath.  Your stress escalates and accumulates and you may not be at your best.  It's good to pause for a minute to bring your stress level closer to your baseline before proceeding.
Here's a quick, 30-60 second, exercise to put you back in touch with your Best Self.

• Find a quiet corner where you can stand comfortably.
• Close your eyes and inhale deeply.
• Visualize your Best Self.  Where are you?  What are you wearing?  See yourself as onlookers would.  Feel your body relax into your Best Self.  Inhale deeply.  Soak up this image. 
• Take one, small step forward into this image to embody it.
• Feel your competence and confidence.
• Smile.
• Return to your hectic business feeling refreshed.
• Repeat at the next transition.

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Now that spring is here it’s time to revise or create an outdoor exercise routine.  The list of the benefits of regular aerobic and strength-training exercise is too long to post here.  However, relief of depression is an important one.
Depression is a common disorder that is associated with compromised quality of life, increased health care costs, and greater risk for a variety of medical conditions, particularly coronary heart disease. 
Here are some tips to help you get started and maintain the benefits of regular exercise. 
To use that famous NIKE slogan, “Just Do It.”

1. Choose an activity that you enjoy and stick with it.  The number of activities to choose from can boggle the mind.  Just because you “don’t feel like it” is not a reason not to exercise. Tell yourself the truth that you’ll feel better afterwards. 
2. Make small changes.  Start with one day per week for 20 minutes.  Add more time or add another day.
3. Make a plan.  Don't leave it to chance.  Put your exercise session on your calendar.  Have plan A and plan B depending on weather or other scheduling. 
4. Invest in a good pair of exercise sneakers.  Consult with an expert.  It’s an investment that you won’t regret!  Don't let sore feet provide an excuse to skip your workout.
5. Timing is everything.  Exercise at a time of day that is most convenient.  Do not exercise on a full or empty stomach or just before you go to bed.  People with depression often suffer from insomnia, and night time exercise can leave you feeling energized when you want to sleep.  If possible, exercise during daylight hours to also benefit from sunlight.
6. Watch out for barriers to exercise.  Anticipate them and develop strategies to make exercise as easy and simple as possible.  Brainstorm potential solutions to bad weather, work commitments, fatigue, and any other lame excuse your demons will present.
7. Get a buddy.  Some people who exercise with a partner enjoy it more and are more likely to stick with it.  Also, the additional social support may provide motivation and have other beneficial effects.
8. Think positively. Praise your successes. Keep a record, get a tracking device.  View lapses in your exercise program as learning opportunities and don’t get discouraged if you miss a session.  Succumbing to excuses for one day is not a tragedy but get out there the next day.
9. Enjoy the moment. Take a minute when you are finished with an exercise session to appreciate how you feel in your body, mind and spirit.  A sense of accomplishment can follow you throughout the day.

Exercise appears to be an effective treatment for depression, improving depressive symptoms to a comparable extent as pharmacology and psychotherapy.  Observational studies suggest that active people are less likely to be depressed.  Even modest levels of exercise are associated with improvements in depression.  While the optimal “dose” of exercise is unknown, clearly any exercise is better than no exercise.  "Just Do It." and sustain it.
Here is a recent article from Slate which provides information on the anti-depressant effects of regular exercise.   Here's a reinforcement from The Cleveland Clinic.  Exercise and Happiness from The NY Times provides more information.  And another one about exercise to lower blood pressure and reduce fat.
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​Get curious about your feelings instead of covering them up or launching into solutions.  This simple practice takes only a minute or two.
1. Start by sitting comfortably, noticing where you might be holding tension in the body. Invite these tight places to relax. Check in with your shoulders, neck, jaw, eyes, belly, and hands.
2. Bring a relaxed curiosity to what you’re feeling.  Let yourself be with the emotion as it is, rather than rushing in to “do” something about it.
3. Where do you notice it in your body? Try putting a hand, or two hands, there.
4. Acknowledge that this is a time of distress, of difficulty. This is hard.
5. All people experience painful times, distressing circumstances. You are not alone.
6. See if you can bring some kindness and compassion to yourself.
7. Try not to add to your distress by beating yourself up or calling yourself names.
8. Let yourself rest before returning to your day.
Be as kind to yourself as you would to someone else experiencing this stress and discomfort.

It's not unusual for parents to feel overwhelmed by the demands their children may be making for all the latest in toys and gifts. The holiday season is a time of massive amounts of advertising, a great deal of it aimed at our children. Few parents are able or willing to say "yes" to all the toy requests their children may present, but if you approach it correctly, saying "no" doesn't have to make you feel like a Scrooge.
The holidays can make all of us feel like "kids" again. It's mostly a happy time, but also a season with heavy doses of marketing pressure. As adults we're able to control the impulses brought on by all those "buy stuff now!" ads, but our children face the same tidal wave of advertising without the experience to help temper the desires the ads create.
There are real reasons why the latest, heavily advertised toys can seem so appealing to our kids. It's a normal part of development for children to fantasize and jump from reality to a make-believe world with ease.  Watch small children dressing up or acting out elaborate games and you can see how real those fantasy worlds can be for a child.
This ability to engage in fantasies is also why all the newest and "hottest" toys can seem so appealing. Children can easily dream about owning that exciting new game or toy, something they can imagine playing and sharing with friends, and maybe even be envied for owning.
These childhood dreams can be very strong during the gift-giving season, and when we have to let our kids down and say "no" to the latest requests it can leave us feeling like we're bad parents. This, however, may be an emotional reaction, but not a realistic evaluation.   
As a parent there may be legitimate reasons why agreeing to a child's demands simply isn't practical, or desirable, or maybe even possible. While those reasons may make sense for you, for the child looking to fulfill his or her fantasy, your adult reality has little or no meaning.
Our normal parental response to a child's over-the-top request, or "demand," might be something like, "No, that toy is simply too expensive." Such a response often will lead to escalated tension that makes the child cling even harder to the fantasy of how wonderful it could be and how you just don't understand.
Instead, it often works better to allow the child to hold on to and enjoy the fantasy. Respond by showing you understand how wonderful and fun it might be to have that toy. Don't resist the fantasy, but give your child the time to return to reality at his or her own pace. Save the discussion of why the toy is not a good decision for a calmer time when the fantasy is not as strong.
Adapted from the American Counseling Association’s Counseling Corner Blog

​In these uncertain times our stress levels are elevated.  This article from The Cleveland Clinic has some useful information.
Whether it’s a fight with a spouse, a deadline at work, or simply just too much to do, we’ve all got stress.   And if you’re faced with a lot of it, it can take hold of your eating habits.
There’s a definite connection between stress and our appetite — but that connection isn’t the same for everyone, says psychologist Susan Albers, PsyD.
Stress causes some people to ignore their hunger cues and refrain from eating for long stretches. For other people, stress turns them into emotional eaters who mindlessly munch.
“Some people overeat when they feel stressed, and other people lose track of their appetite,” Dr. Albers says. “Those who stop eating are so focused on their stress that they don’t hear or tune into their hunger cues. Those who overeat are attempting to distract themselves with food.”
Our brains send cues to our bodies when we’re feeling stressed. That’s part of our fight-or-flight response that helps us deal with perceived threats in our environment, 
When you’re feeling stressed, your body sends out cortisol, known as the stress hormone. Cortisol can make you crave sugary, salty and fatty foods, because your brain thinks it needs fuel to fight whatever threat is causing the stress.
How stress affects your metabolism
Stress doesn’t only influence your eating habits. Studies show it can affect your metabolism, too.
In one recent study, participants who reported one or more stressors during the previous 24 hours, such as arguments with spouses, disagreements with friends, trouble with children or work-related pressures, burned 104 fewer calories than non-stressed women in the seven hours after eating a high-fat meal.
Researchers say experiencing one or more stressful event the day before eating just one high-fat meal (the kind we’re most likely to indulge in when frazzled) can slow the body’s metabolism so much that women could potentially see an 11-pound weight gain over the course of a year.
How to combat stress eating
The daily demands of work and home life — and even the constant presence of electronic devices — puts people at a high risk for stress eating, 
The best way to combat stress or emotional eating is to be mindful of what triggers stress eating and to be ready to fight the urge.
“If you are someone who is prone to emotional eating, know your triggers, know what stresses you out and be prepared,” Dr. Albers says.
Part of being prepared is to arm yourself with healthy snacks. Then if you feel the need to snack, you will at least nourish your body.
“Helping to regulate your blood sugar throughout the day is going to keep your body stable and your emotions on a much better playing field,” she adds.
It’s also a good idea to keep things at your workspace that will help reduce anxiety, like a stress ball. Or try taking a five-minute break every once in a while to close your eyes and take some deep breaths.
Regular exercise and making sure you get enough sleep every night also can help you to better handle the challenges that come up every day, she says.

Lately have you noticed you are forgetting things, feeling groggy even after a good night's sleep, irritable?  Dr. Richard Friedman has some ideas about how social isolation may be making our brains duller.  Check out this article he wrote in the Washington Post.